"I'm trying to study... Can't you kill yourself elsewhere?"

I just shook my head. "You need to get laid, Bish..."

"No, I don't, and stop calling me that!" Omi exclaimed huffily. Omi's not as fun to tease as Ken, because he doesn't resort to childish name calling, and the occasional stamping of a foot. And, Ken's older than Omi? Hell, even that Schwarz kid, Nagi, is more mature than Ken. I know that Aya would agree with me there.

Omi stood up, knocking some stuff off the coffee table. He made a big production of sighing and glaring at me as he threw his pen down. I just laughed.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Yohji!" He yelled at me. Omi actually yelled at me. Yelled. Omi.

I just stared at him with wide eyes, cigarette hovering just in front of my mouth. "Jesus, Omi, you don't have to get snippy. You've been all on edge since you found out you're a Takatori..."

Omi bristled, picking up his books. "Fine. Maybe I should just join Schwarz. I'm sure I'd be able to get work done living with them."

"Yes, because you're a Takatori... They'd have to listen to you...."

That did it. Omi stared at me, all calmness in his cerulean eyes, but I knew he was fuming. I didn't know why I was so enjoying digging that knife. Maybe I wanted to hurt someone just like I was hurting. And, Omi was the one in the room. Omi set his books down very gingerly on the counter, and went to the fridge. He got a bottle of water and walked past me. I almost sighed in relief that I'd dodged a bullet, but gasped, almost falling off my perch when his hand came out hard, backhanding me across the face. I just stared at him, utterly dumbfounded. I don't think Omi had ever hit anyone outside a mission. Lucky me for being the first one.

"Just because you're depressed..." Omi trailed off, his voice calm. But, his face was flushed with anger, and his cheeks were stained crimson. It would have looked like he was blushing, but I knew he was angry, and that I'd stepped over the line. "Just because you're pining after something.... And, quite frankly, I don't care what it is...." Omi picked up his books again. "That doesn't give you the right to drag the rest of us down with you." He turned on his heel, and left me alone in the room with his words.

"Fuck..." I trailed off, lighting another cigarette. The kid was right. I felt like shit, and wanted everyone around me to feel the same. I looked up when I heard footsteps in the stairwell that led down to the flower shop. Our door opened, and Aya came in, his face blank, like always.

"Hey, Aya!" I greeted cheerfully, puffing on my cigarette. "Visiting your sister?"

He barely made eye contact with me, nodding slightly in agreement.

"Is she good?" I asked, genuinely concerned for Aya-Chan.

He just gave me a look, his pansy eyes boring into me. He then went to his room without saying a word.

I sighed deeply, slumping in my seat. There went the silent reason I was so depressed. Aya. Ran Fujimiya. He tore up my heart without having to say a word. Kind of like the way Asuka had when she died. But, Ran was still alive, and he was cold, he was a bastard, and I couldn't help but want him, but love him.

Even now, I narrowed my eyes, and envisioned him coming out of his room, staring at me with those cold amethyst eyes, walking towards me, and lowering his trim body into my lap, offering himself to me. I would kiss him, more gently than I'd kissed the hoards of women that I'd dated. I could taste his lips now. Petal soft, and tasting like some sort of berried tea. Maybe strawberry. To match his hair. And, his breath would be so warm, such a contradiction compared to the coldness of his demeanour. It would be like a balmy summer day on some tropical island, and it would steal my own breath away. His lips would be slightly wet from saliva, his own tongue licking out to wet them just before we kissed. And, I bet he would whimper, or moan ever so slightly. I could never imagine Ran as a moaner and wailer. Not like Ken. Sure, he thinks that we can't hear him when he secretly brings home.... Whoever.

The noises Aya would make would be beautiful, and soft, so I'd really have to listen to hear them, and would be rewarded when I did, because it would make me feel special. My hands would move into his hair, touching it, examining the strands with my fingertips, to see if his fire engine red hair was as soft as it looked. I bet it was, and it would smell like roses. I would brush his bangs off his alabaster forehead, and he would push his tongue into my mouth. I would want Aya to take initiative. He would never submit so easily. It would be a war of tongues, each of us trying to be the controlling one. Maybe I would let him dominate me. I'm sure I wouldn't mind, because I'd probably be really hard simply from a kiss. His kisses would be that wonderful.

I would then run my hands out of his hair, to his shoulders. He looks very slender, almost gaunt, but I would feel the powerful muscles of his shoulders and biceps. I would feel his skin shiver under my hands, and he would maybe squirm a little in my lap. The best part would be when he melted as my hands moved down his back, as if I was on fire, thawing the ice that seemed to encase him. He would melt, and moan, maybe a little louder, maybe a moan mixed with a laugh that was rich and throaty from desire. I would feel his chest rub against mine as I moved my hands down his back, slowly.... Ever so slowly. I would never want to rush it, because, if I did, it would be over too soon. His nipples would be hard, poking against his shirt. Maybe that black one that laces up near the collar. It clings to his body, and makes him look beyond sexy. I would feel his nipples poking through the shirt, maybe rubbing against mine. I would definitely moan then. I'm a nipple man.

Maybe my hands would move around his hips, to the front of his body as we continued to kiss. I would want to touch his crotch, cup his genitals, which I can feel pressing against mine. I know he feels I have a hard on, and he knows that I feel the growing erection in his pants. But, I won't touch him, not just yet. I move my hands to his flat stomach, and push my fingertips up under the hem of his shirt. My hands would maybe be cold, and he would gasp as my chilled fingers touched his bare flesh, which would be burning hot. His skin would be as fiery as his hair. I would move my fingers up, maybe dipping each of my fingertips into his bellybutton, which he would like. It would make him squirm in my lap, and make me groan.

He would sigh, breaking our kiss as my fingertips found his nipples, which were painfully hard. He would look into my eyes, and his pansy irises would be full of passion and want. I'm not a stranger to passion in Aya's eyes. He would look kind of like he does when we're on a mission, except he would be flushed with desire, and a small smile would be on his lips, which were tenderly bruised from our kisses, and slightly moist from my saliva. I want to bite his lips because they taste so good. So, I do that. I roll his nipples between my fingers, and swoop my mouth in to capture his once more. God, he's beautiful. More beautiful than any woman I'd ever dated. Even more beautiful than Asuka? Yes, definitely.

He would then pull away again, and smile, pulling off his own shirt. That way, his bare chest would be shown to me, and almost immediately, I would take one of his nipples into my mouth, sucking on it hungrily. His hands would move into my hair, his back arching, creating an angle with his body. I would suck harder and harder, like a baby at his mother's breast, and he would finally whimper in pain. My penis would be screamingly hard, and so would he. Just the friction of our covered cocks would make me almost come in my pants. And, he would moan my name as I refused to give up his nipple.

"Yohji...!!" He would gasp, trying to bury the cry in my shoulder by biting into it. That would sent a shiver down my spine. I would then reach down, slowly undoing his pants....

I shook my head. That would never happen. No matter how much I wanted Aya, Ran, in that position, no matter how much I desired him, loved him, he would never melt for me. There's only one person he would melt for, and it tears me up inside.

"Hey, Yohji!"

I look up as Ken comes into the room. He's dressed up, going out.

"Where to?" I asked, my voice tired. He must think that I don't care. I don't. Ken's personal life is his own business.

"Clubbing."

I nod.

"Wanna come?" He asks, placing his hands on his hips. He's wearing something that makes him look very attractive. He's got on a mesh, long sleeved shirt, with a black, short sleeved shirt that buttons up the front, over top of it. I say buttons, but only a couple of the middle buttons are done up, so I can see nipples and navel. He's also got on a pair of loose black pants that hang around his hips. He's so fresh faced and cute, with his big eyes that look like they're either green or brown. He's got nice hazel eyes.

I shook my head. "No thanks."

"Sure?" Ken cocked his head, his chocolate bangs falling in his eyes. "How do I look?"

I take in his appearance once more. "Like Farfarello..." I trail off. He looks nothing like Farfarello, just like a cute little thief who stole something out of Farfarello's wardrobe. Ken is the total opposite in appearance from a pale, Caucasian Irishman who only has one eye.

I see his face darken. "Thanks a lot, Yohji..." He shakes his head at me. "I'm going now....."

I wave lazily. "Have fun, twinkletoes."

He gave me the finger before leaving. It would be so much easier if I could love Ken. He's available, and he's Bisexual. He's also nice looking. But, I can only think of him as a kid brother. And, that totally repels me from ever pursuing a relationship with him. It's quite funny, actually. I won't fuck Ken because I think of him as a kid brother, but I would fuck someone who wants to fuck their kid sister.

Yep. It's not Aya's frostiness or his loner like qualities that are the barrier between us. It's his sister. And, the fact that he's in love with her. And, I can't help but still want him, still love him. I was put off by it, but I guess you can't help who you fall in love with.

It had been revealed to me in one of our previous missions against Schwarz. Ken and Omi had been off against Crawford and Nagi, who I think have a thing going on. I was sort of grossed out at the idea of Crawford, a guy who's older than me, fucking someone younger than Nagi, but I guess it's not as bad as it could be, as what Schuldich revealed to me and Aya. He'd gotten it from Ran's mind that the redhead had been in love with his sister, and Schuldich, that stupid bastard, also picked up on the fact that I loved Aya, so he just couldn't help himself. He'd laughed when he told us, and Farfarello had joined him, almost doing that point and laugh thing at Aya. Farfarello had actually had to lean against a wall, his hands on his knees because he'd been laughing so hard. And, Schuldich had leaned against Farfarello, almost falling over. I also think there's something going on with those two. What is it with assassins, having to fuck each other all the time?

So, they'd been laughing, while Aya had snarled at them. But, I could tell by the look in his eyes that it was true. Schuldich hadn't revealed that I had feelings for Aya. I guess he thought my suffering was much more interesting. I told Aya that I wouldn't say a word to Ken or Omi, or anyone else for that matter, and I haven't. I've lived with the agony all alone.

How does someone fall in love with a sibling? I don't have any brothers and sisters, and it's not like I can ask anyone about it, because then they'd get suspicious, and ask why I was asking it. So, I suffer alone. I guess it's not wholly surprising. I mean, Aya had taken the revenge against Takatori business a little seriously. I mean, I know that Ken would be pissed if his sister had been put in a coma, but I don't think he would take the revenge aspect to the same levels as Aya had. I hadn't even taken my desire to avenge Asuka's death, the love of my life at the time, to that level.

I don't think that Aya even knows how to deal with his feelings. I wouldn't imagine it's easy for him to realize he's a pervert. I don't try to analyze his feelings, because it hurts me too much. It hurts and disgusts me. Disgusts me because I think incest is gross, and disgusts me because I still want Aya, and almost with Aya-Chan would die in that coma so I could have Ran all to myself. I sigh, rubbing my hands over my face. I've tried to think less of Aya because of this. And, I do. I think less of him. But, I also think less of myself, because I want nothing more than to take Aya in my arms, and fuck him senseless, and profess my love to him until the end of time. I think less of myself because I sit and pine, waiting for a miracle, waiting for Ran to stop loving, lusting for his sister.

I close my eyes, and I see Ran, laying out beneath me on my bed, his hair tousled, his eyes shining as he's tangled in my sheets, as his limbs are tangled with mine. He's totally naked, and so am I. His legs are wound around my waist, and our bared erections are brushing together. I'm kissing his cheeks, his neck, his collarbone. He arches his back as my mouth travels lower, lower, lower. My mouth will hover just above his cock, and my breath will wash over it. He'll whimper, and rock his hips upward, which will cause his dick to brush my lips. As it does, I'll cover the head of his penis with my mouth, rolling my tongue around it. My fingers will move nimbly down the backs of his thighs, to the crack of his ass. I'll push a finger into his body, and it will be so hot in his channel, that I'll gasp around his cock. I'll suck harder when his muscles contract around my finger, and he'll moan softly when I put a second finger into him.

He opens his mouth to gasp, to cry out, and I so want him to scream my name, but he doesn't.

"Aya!" The word that leaves his parted lips among panting breath isn't my name, but his sister's name.

I open my eyes slowly. I'm looking at the fridge. There's a soccer schedule, a shopping list in Omi's neat kanji, and a note from Aya-Chan's hospital. I sigh sadly, lighting another cigarette. Even my fantasies torture me. Maybe because I know it's a lost cause. I can't even fantasize about the miracle I'm so waiting for.....

The End.